Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to our forum. This is a place for people to debate and rant about stuff. Enjoy!

Click here to register.


If you're already a member, you can log in here:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 3
Miracles performed by Jesus
Topic Started: 24 May 2012, 10:12 AM (1,310 Views)
Word Sorcerer 28 Jun 2012, 04:38 PM Post #41

Quote:
 
1. The Son of God AKA (apparently) The Sun, beamed light against the sea, thus "he walked across the water. Yeah, so if we're going to use this Sun allegory, then we have to look at, oh, I don't know.... THE REST OF THE CONTEXT! Cause if I'm correct, didn't said "sunlight" then walk over to the boat and convert two people, thus making them disciples on his fatalistic journey of "salvation" that ended up with lots of "I sw ?ear he came back, man!" ?


Hey, man. The summer solstice taking over the winter solstice is the Savior returning, the light taking over darkness, the cold and evil winter, the devil, or the grim reaper, because he's the death bringer, you see, for just as the Sun dies on the cross during the winter solstice, so does a rose wither and die in winter. That's why they always say look to the heavens, and in the LOTR movie you gotta look to the east for Gandolf to save them cats with his light.

Quote:
 
2. *facepalm* If I know my science, which I generally do, then I know that sunlight on its own does not make water and grapes into wine. The Sun's heat dries out grapes into raisins, yes, but one doesn't make wine with raisins. Wine is made by crushing grapes, putting the juice in a barrel with other ingredients and fermenting the living shit out of it. Generally, this occurs in a deep dark basement, far away from sunlight, maybe in a nuclear war bunker owned by rich people.


Yeah, man. He gave the the people wine by turning the grapes that were spread out on the straw mat into raisins with his rays of heat. Don't expect him to do all the work, you heathen scoundrel, who do you think you are?
Edited by Word Sorcerer, 28 Jun 2012, 06:07 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
DealsFor.me - The best sales, coupons, and discounts for you
« Previous Topic · Religion · Next Topic »
Add Reply
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 3

edge created by tiptopolive of IDS